3 Social Emotional Learning Practices to Use at Home Everyday
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Understanding the importance of integrating social emotional learning (SEL) in the classroom and at home is a critical part of developing the whole child. Research has indicated that social emotional skills contribute to overall academic success in school, and rightly so. Skills such as self-awareness, social awareness, self-management, relationship skills, and decision-making are integral components of life. These are skills we want to prepare children for that not only benefits them in school, but impacts life beyond the classroom. If we want to see our children thriving when they eventually go off to college, start a job in the workforce and manage adult relationships, we need to start sharpening their SEL skills now.
Like any other skill, we need to begin with practice in order to achieve mastery. Just like developing your muscles to lift heavy weights, we need to work out our empathy muscles and build social emotional strength so that we are better equipped to handle stressors in life, challenges at school or solve problems at work.
Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in helping children develop these social emotional skills, but thankfully you’re not alone! Educators, teachers, coaches, and mentors are partners helping your child develop socially and emotionally.
So how do we know if we are flexing these social emotional muscles in our children? The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) identifies 5 core competencies for social and emotional learning: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making. They define this skill building process as one in “which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships and make responsible decisions.”
Parents can start by observing your child at home in these 5 areas. Notice how they are at school, their interactions with siblings, friends, and adults. Observe how they process and regulate their emotions alone and with others. After you start noticing and understanding your child’s social and emotional state, you can begin to follow these 3 practices we’ve laid out for parents and caregivers.
But wait–before you begin, I must stress the importance that these practices be done daily. This is going to take commitment on your part, but remember that building social and emotional skills is a marathon, not a sprint. It may sound daunting, but really, most parents implement some sort of emotional training on the daily and don’t even realize it. Most parents just need to sprinkle in some intentionality and be available to identify and provide learning opportunities for social and emotional growth while at home.
Here are 3 practical ways to nurture social emotional learning at home (and some free downloadable resources and activities)!
Create a time and space for SEL practice
In order to nurture and cultivate social and emotional learning practices at home, we begin with a mindset of intentionality. Often parents are caught off guard when their children misbehave or overreact to a situation at home because we are too busy or preoccupied with taking care of the family.
Taking time to be intentional with your children helps parents notice behaviors, reactions, and feelings that are going on at home. It also helps children see that you are present and you care. Children need to have a safe space to feel seen and heard. By establishing a daily routine to listen, pay attention and carve out time to dive into your child’s emotions, you can begin diving into deeper aspects of social and emotional learning. Check out this checklist
Younger children (and sometimes older children) need help identifying their emotions, this can be done verbally by saying out loud how it is they are feeling. Once they can identify their emotions, parents can serve as a guide to show them how to express and manage emotions in a healthy and safe manner.
Move This World is an organization dedicated to partnering with schools to bring SEL into the classroom and at home. We suggest using some of their free at-home activities that empower parents to practice self-regulation skills, emotional expression, and empathy skills with their kids. From journaling prompts for older kids, to a list of read aloud picture books on the topic of social and emotional skills, parents will find this resource extremely useful and fun to do at home.
Help your child identify their emotions
Communicating feelings can sometimes be a challenge for adults, so how do we get our children to tell us what they are feeling?
Let’s break it down by age group. Younger students who may have big feelings but are still developing their verbal communication skills may find it easier to express their emotions through non-verbal avenues. Parents can practice facial expressions with little ones to show how they are feeling, use body cues, thumbs up or down, or point to visual aids (smiling face, sad face, etc.)
Older students may feel more comfortable talking about their feelings, but sometimes they may not be able to express or feel comfortable saying it out loud. If this is the case, give them opportunities to express themselves with an activity that puts them at east, like journaling, drawing out their feelings, dance, art, music, or any creative or bodily expression that fits their personality.
EdSurge suggests that, ‘Older students can try journal prompts like: “If I were a weather reporter and my feelings were the weather, it would be _____ today.”’ Students may not have developed the emotional vocabulary to express their feelings just yet, but it doesn’t mean they can't describe their emotions in other ways.
Model behavior skills
Parents and caregivers play an important role in modeling behaviors to children at home. Author Maurice Elias, who wrote books on emotional intelligent parenting, suggests parents follow the “24K Golden Rule”. The 24 carat golden rule goes beyond the golden rule of “do unto others as you would do unto yourself” and instead applies it to our children.
Elias says, “do unto your children as you would have other people do unto your children.” In other words,“don't say something to your child that you wouldn't want someone else to say also to your child.”
Children are sponges and they will soak up the way we implement self-care, self-management, stress, empathy towards others–you name it. If we emotionally react to our children harshly, it cuts deeper and creates a longer lasting impact. In the same way, if we provide positive and healthy models of social and emotional behaviors, they will follow in our footsteps.
For some parents, this might look like taking inventory on how we are handling the 5 core components of social and emotional learning. If there are areas of improvement (which is probably almost guaranteed for most people!) use this opportunity to grow alongside your children!
Need help? Use this free guide for identifying the 5 core components of SEL and what developmental milestones are typical for each age group.
