Love Your Neighbor〡3 Ways to Teach Kindness to Your Kids
Photo by Andrea Tummons on Unsplash
Growing up in church we used to play this icebreaker game at our youth group called “Do You Love Your Neighbor?” It was sort of like a rendition of musical chairs because the object of the game was to not get your seat stolen by someone else.
It was the most overplayed icebreaker game and I was sick of playing it by the time I entered my Sophomore year of high school. Yet, it was somehow always the best game to break the ice with a bunch of teenagers, especially if there were newcomers at our youth meeting that day.
When I think back to those moments I’m amazed at how much simpler life felt at that age.
Now as a parent, I find myself thinking about how I should raise my children in the world we live in.
With all the heaviness in the news and the divisiveness going on in our world today it feels like now, more than ever, is the time to cultivate Christlike love in our children.
But how can we as families teach our kids to love our neighbor as ourselves the way Christ did?
As a mother and a believer, my hope is that my children will learn and grow in their faith with me. My goal is that through our daily interactions as a family, they will be able to organically embody Christ in everything they do.
Naturally, I looked to scripture for what it looks like to be a good neighbor or a steward to one’s community. The gospel breaks it down simply for us.
3 Ways to Teach Kindness to Your Kids
Pay attention to others.
In Isaiah 1:17, the prophet Isaiah shares from a vision and says to the people, “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.”
As we approach the topic of kindness with our children, I think it’s important to let them see some of the realities in our present world. Poverty, social injustice, broken homes, sickness, warfare.
Let’s start with the why before we jump in with the how.
“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
Kindness begins with noticing. Where in your community is there a need? Is there a neighbor who is going through a tough time? Is there excessive trash in your local park?
Starting at an early age, we can help our children start to notice the needs in our community (and our world), when we start discussions around injustice, persecution, systemic racism, sickness, poverty, loss of loved ones.
Not everyone’s life is the same and it’s important to teach our kids to have a lens to see that. We don’t all live in the suburbs with a white picket fence. There are serious needs in the world and even in our own neighborhoods. If only we have the eyes to see them, then we can follow God’s call to love our neighbors.
This year our school is participating in Operation Christmas Child with Samaritan’s Purse to send gifts overseas to children who would otherwise not receive any gifts.
Supporting humanitarian organizations like World Vision or Compassion International and sponsoring a child is a great way to get kids involved in cultivating awareness of needs that are different from theirs.
Give generously & sacrificially.
“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”
1 Peter 4:10
My husband and I took several trips to the Middle East and spent time with displaced people groups when my oldest was just a toddler. At the time she didn’t understand where or what we were doing, but just recently she starting asking questions about our time in the Middle East.
It gave me a platform to share with her about service and sacrifice. I was able to tell her that I spent time with widows, the fatherless, and people who had lost their homes and way of life. I put it into terms that a child would understand and drew connections to her own life.
I also let her know that it was a sacrifice for us to leave home and fly all the way across the world. We had to take time off of work, we had to leave the comforts of home and we missed our family.
I was able to teach her that as hard as it was to sacrifice the things we loved, there will be heavenly reward in the work we do that is not for our own gain.
Whether you volunteer at a local food bank, your church, give financially, or serve neighbors and friends in your community, make sure to have discussions with your kids about what service looks like and how it impacts lives.
Bring your children alongside you as you serve and allow them opportunities to give of their own talents, time and possessions.
Love God and love others.
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31
I’ve realized with my 5 year old that she loves surprises. In fact, she asks for surprises almost every day and gets disappointed if I don’t surprise her with something.
Whenever we have a birthday coming up in the family, my daughter wants to surprise the birthday recipient with something special. Her love language is getting surprises–it’s how she feels seen and loved.
Christ has commanded us to love God and love others. So let’s talk to our kids about what it looks like to love God and others.
I want to start the conversation by asking my daughter if she thinks God likes surprises (her answer would probably be unequivocally, YES!). Then we can move forward and brainstorm ways we could surprise God with things He would love. And in the same way, I would move into how we could “surprise” other people to make them happy.
Expressing love and extending love to others can look like a million different things.
The goal here is to get the conversation of loving God and loving others going. As the ideas start flowing, so will the actions.
As parents we don’t always have all the answers and we can’t always be perfect, in fact we’re not. But I think it’s more important to have the motivation to strive towards Christlikeness and to bring our children along with us in that journey.
If we pay attention to others, give generously and sacrificially, and remember to love God and love others, I think we will be able to model God’s love–to our children and to our neighbors.
