How To Help Children Cope With Mass Violence
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.”
Coping with mass violence is extremely stressful. And depending on an incident’s proximity, the impacts of violence can have serious mental and emotional stress on children and adults.
The recent mass shootings in our nation have definitely stirred up fear, worry, and anxiety as these were all innocent lives lost in seemingly safe public spaces. No doubt, there are thoughts questioning the safety of your community, your church, or your child’s school. As saddening as it is, fear for safety is a common reaction-–even if the events that happened did not directly impact you and your family.
In light of the Texas school shooting in Uvalde, these senseless acts of violence are hitting home for students and parents alike. As adults, we struggle with terrible news of a school shooting–which begs the question, how do our children think and feel when violence strikes?
According to the chief psychologist at CHOC, Dr. Heather Hustzi, children can have some common reactions after an incident of mass violence that affect their normal routine. Many times, children are reacting, even if they don’t verbally express their feelings.
They might have trouble concentrating and paying attention at school or work, and may be less productive.
They may have difficulty falling or staying asleep, or experience nightmares.
Physically, they may have headaches, stomachaches, a racing heart or a change in appetite.
They may feel misunderstood or distant from friends or family, and not care about things that used to matter or were important to them.
Feelings may run the gamut: sadness, anger, confusion and fear. They may also feel jumpy or irritable, or that they must stay on alert for danger at all times.
Thoughts, images or visions of the mass violence event may feel constant to them, and they may be constantly reminded of the violence by sights, sounds, people or places.
Additional grief reactions – different for everyone – should be expected if they lost a loved one in the incident.
Source: health.choc.org
As parents, we need to be ready to help our children cope with the horribly devastating realities we face today. As believers, we need to turn to the Gospel as our hope for this broken world. We need to be prepared to talk to our children and answer their questions while pointing all things back to our creator who is ultimately in control.
Josh Weidmann, a pastor and counselor in Denver, Colorado, writes about ways parents can talk to children about mass shootings. He says, “We cannot ignore the real presence of sin and evil in these moments. Sheltering kids from harsh reality isn’t caring for them—it’s only forcing them to find answers elsewhere.” Weidmann, who was a high school junior at the time of the Columbine shooting, lived a mile away from the school and remembers vividly the horrific events that impacted so many lives around him. He has 4 talking points for parents to consider when speaking to their children and teenagers about mass shootings.
1. Sin and evil are real
Mass shootings are a glaring piece of evidence that sin is very real in our world today. The main focus here is to point out the root of the cause of these shootings, and that stems from sin that propels these shooters to want to take innocent lives.
2. Murder is a stain on God’s creation
It’s written clearly in the Bible when Moses presented the 10 commandments to the people of Israel, with the commandment in Exodus saying “you shall not commit murder”. Jesus also calls his disciples to fulfill the second greatest commandment of loving your neighbor as yourself. When we break these commandments, we are rejecting God. Weidmann goes on to say that we should urge our children to respond in the way that Jesus would, and that is to love others. Care for, reach out, and be a helping hand to those who are mourning, in pain, and suffering because of the violent incidents that have occurred.
3. God is still sovereign over evil
Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Weidmann goes on to say that we have to be reminded of God’s sovereignty even when we are faced with evil. It’s natural for our reactions to be confused, “why, God?” But take the feelings of grief and confusion and lean into God and His promises.
4. Pray and share hope
Lastly, Weidmann calls parents to pray with their children. Not only for the victims' families, but for the service men and women in the community that respond to these crimes. The teachers, the schools, the law enforcement, the administrators, the leaders of our communities. Also to pray for God to change hearts and minds, whether it be individuals suffering with hatred or on the societal level for our government and our nation.
Source: thegospelcoalition.org
In the face of these violent events happening in our nation, it’s easy to retreat with our negative emotions. However, we implore parents to press in during this time through prayer and trust that our God is the God of justice. He is the ultimate redeemer and it’s in times like these that our kids need us and the one true hope of the world to lean on.
You May Also Like:
5 Step to Talk About Difficult Things With Our Kids
Teaching Your Kids The Power of Prayer
Sources:
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/talk-to-kids-mass-shootings/
https://health.choc.org/helping-children-cope-with-mass-violence/
